Dear Oh Dear

Hey people! See the long interval between this post and the previous? That's because of the exams! Yes I've finally finished the Final Exams!! Well, the written ones anyway. Ahh but I'd prefer the practical exams any day.

Anyway, know that feeling of freedom you get after getting through obstacles like this? Yes, well that is what I'm feeling right now.

Some of the scores are out already, and I'm not happy with my Physics. I've underestimated, overestimated, same-estimated, expected...still the same average score. GAAH. But! At least I can be satisfied with my Biology. *throws confetti*

SOOO. What's been going on with my life?? Truth be told, I am so awfully glad I have friends I can count on and trust. They make school bearable and life a playful story we have to get by together. One day, perhaps, before I graduate from high school, I'd like to write little snippets of poem for some of them, one too for my whole grade and a long special one for my class :D After all we'll be together for another year right-_-

Yes. That'd be a great idea. :)

OH. I have just received an adorable notebook from my English teacher :) Isn't she a dear! I love it :3

I'm going to spend all my freedom tickets for the weekends tomorrow. I've got to let it go~

Speaking of it, I think I had better move chairs. I'm going to have to stand again and wait while the traffic lights turn red once again... Wait for the green. I don't think this is going to work. You know, this whole waiting thing. UGH. I hate it when I feel so down and when there's nothing I can do about it. There's nothing anyone can do about it. Even when they ask me, I know they have better things to do than asking me what is wrong. BLERGH. See what I did there? GOD.
Don't mind me please. I'm having a PMS and I get the feeling to get mad at every little thing, and sometimes so sad for myself I feel like murdering someone.

*sigh* Oh God. Lead me the right way and don't ever leave me astray. O:)

Pssh. I'm always the pessimist type of person. My best friends keep telling me that I need to stop being a pessimist, and BELIEVE ME, I TRIED. I really did. But I can't. Anyway, I think I nearly always think of negative things because I'm tired of feeling disappointed when things don't go as I expect them to be. While, let's say, if you are a pessimist, and things do go as you SECRETLY expect, your heart does that little purr of happiness and does a tra-la-la dance. Well, that's what mine did anyway. And that is why I am a pessimist nearly all the time. Oh, don't get me wrong. I am frequently thankful of all the things Allah gives me, but well, this is me, and I can't change it if I don't want to.

But dear oh dear.

Dear oh dear indeed.

Playing the Glad Game

Hey !

We - that is - I had a lot of fun yesterday.

We gave out several roses to which quotes were attached and gave it out to people on the streets. It's really lovely to know that we would be making someone's dreary day into a rose-filled day. And why wouldn't they be happy? To receive a free fresh rose out on a street? I paid close attention to their faces when they received it and they were all satisfied, gleeful and happy faces (well the people I gave to anyway) and I was careful to give only those who wanted and who needed their days to be brighten up by a simple giving of a rose.

It was wonderful and generous of our school to have such an activity like this. I'm so glad we did a good thing - making someone else's day a good day, considering their tired faces when they rolled down the windows :p

Oh and I'm also happy that I'm able to play the Glad Game as well as Pollyanna. She. Is. Such. An. Inspiration.

After that, we trudged up to KFC to eat and rest while the rain fell in torrents around the area. I wasn't surprised; the sky was already badly bruised when we did the rose-giving.

Anyway it was a great day, what with us going to Periplus after that and I ended up not doing that particular thing I had been waiting for. *sigh*

Yesterday was plenty crazy too; Alay, Ida, Ina, Lovi and I mostly screamed and shouted in the car when we were trying to find a parking space in Malioboro. I don't get why people go there all the time. There's nothing in there. Seriously.


I've been having several minor mental breakdowns concerning everything that has been revolving around my life and the Glad Game helped put a stop to it. My friends and family helped too, and I owe them a lot. 

Last but not least, I am so glad to have such a life and such great and awesome parents and friends.

As Pollyanna would say, "I'm very, very VERY glad!"

Yes or No

Hello!

Like I said in my earlier post, I had what I wanted!

And reading of course. I am nearly at the end of Pollyanna Grows Up, just a few more pages.

I am content! :D

Now what I wanted to say is about tomorrow. We have school tomorrow, can you imagine? But I guess it's for a cause since we would be giving out roses and candies to people from which quotes would be attached to it :3 I hope we would be making someone's day.

Anyway, tomorrow's also The Day. 

So I'm hoping for a great tomorrow. Fingers crossed. But if it isn't, it can't hurt to just try. 

OH WHO AM I KIDDING. I need good luck! *sobs* 

Random quotes, random poem, and randomness!

Hi.
With this frequency, I think I'll be able to write more than five posts a month, but of course this is entirely because I have nothing good to do and remarkably I have managed to find the time to do it.

So, what's up?
Anything interesting going on in your life lately?

Tomorrow's a holiday and I think I'm going to spend it doing my favourite things: reading, writing, waltzing, music-ing and hugging Katsper all day. It's going to be wonderful, say, if I don't think about the pile of work on my schedule.

Oh right, here's a little poem, directed to particularly no one :D

The sun beats down

Hard enough for me to frown

And I would have done it

If it weren't for you

You remind me so much

Of feelings I have missed

Of memories I once held

Of someone I had lost.

You are full of spirit

Of delight and smiles

Oh if only you knew

How blissful you are.

The ecstasy you bring

Oh if people could fly

I would have hover above

A centimetre or two

People would see me

And think I am smitten

But the truth really is,

I am empty without.

Vacant would I be

Sorrowful would I be

Forever immersed with memories...

Would I be.

So I take these steps

Hoping and praying

The path I have taken

Would be the one to bring me joy.

Okay well, I don't know. What did you think of it? :)

It doesn't rhyme nor does it sound pretty but I seldom write them nowadays and I need to sharpen myself tomorrow as well. 

I am currently reading Pollyanna Grows Up. It's really good; I've missed classics. These days, all the books are full of that common kind of love and it gets boring so often. I want to write a book that inspires someone, even just a little. 

Okay that was all randomness. Didn't I say my blogs are going to be full of randomness? 

Yup, and a random chibi girl blinking her eyes at you.

Oh by the way, the one simple thing I mentioned before in my earlier post? Yeah. I did it. I broke the bubble.

And the response was just as I expected. At first I felt rather well...mutung but now I realize how it must look like from the other side's POV.

Nevermind that.

Oh it was raining sometime ago, and the best thing to do now is to enjoy a cup of hot cocoa while listening to some music and propped up with a good book. Yeeeees.

Until then, people.

Bye :D

Pathetic!

Yeah I know. Just a day after and I'm already writing a new post.

It is what happen if your phones get confiscated and you have nothing but your books and your laptop to accompany you. I'm bored so I'm going to just write a post about anything.

Lately I've been thinking about life and how I have just realized that I am indeed feeling very insecure about nearly everything. Insecure about school, about life, friends, and well yeah everything. I've been thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and I'm just sick of thinking. I just want to say it all out so here I am.

As this is a blog where everyone can see, I will not make it personal :3

I've been thinking that...if I had chosen different paths, where would I be? Really happy and satisfied? Or bitchy and jealous? Suicidal? Filthy rich or down in the dumps? So many possibilites that might happen if I were to take another different turn.

The turns I've made were no different than those I usually take. Too normal and too boring. At times I'll take a wrong turn then danger and trouble would leap at me. At times I wonder and walk too slowly. At times I feel like running but then I'll bump into someone. So many..............things that can happen.

Yeah it looks like a really big thing to be thinking of if you think about it deeply.

So I'm going to change the subject now :D

I'm.... feeling extremely disappointed with myself.

To the point where I feel I'm pathetic.

Why? Because I could not do one simple thing.

I'm pathetic.

LOL. Just kidding. I'M CERTAINLY NOT THAT DEPRESSED :P

It's just that I don't like feeling this way and the only way to break the bubble is to do that one simple thing and get over it. Do it reasonably and I'm sure that whatever the result, I'll accept even though I may feel broken inside

LOL. Broken. Just kidding. Again.

Whatever the result, I'll accept it. It's the only way!  

*inserts cheerful happy pic here*

KEEP THE SMILES PEOPLE. I love you! :3

Oh.

Today is a day I hope is a dream which I can reflect back on and vow to never do it again.

Or maybe I am exaggerating.

Either way, it is not good. My only means of communication (besides my laptop which is really not funny to carry everywhere) just got confiscated by the school for two whole weeks.

After this, you might think that I am the sort of person who cannot live without them, but seriously? I am not that type of person.

I can live without phones. In fact, I have more precious reading time than ever. 

It's just that I can't contact my parents anymore who live in a different town than I am, and two weeks is a really long time. This reason is enough to get me angry, but what is really pissing me off is that school had just taken one golden chance that I have waited forever to get my hands on.

They took it from me just like they took my freedom. They took it from me just like they took away part of my identity. God, they should be sued for making my cat suffer from lack of attention which had resulted in him being very sick. I should be thankful I have a school but no one can deny this little piece of information. We are living in a world where we are expected to multitask in a short amount of time which is absurd since humans are not created for this sort of thing. 

My golden chance. Ruined. All because of a stupid confiscation and I never meant to hurt anyone. 

Now I feel like I'm living in a horrible dream where my one and only chance is ruined. 

The one and only chance I have would be gone long before they return our phones.

I have waited forever for that chance.

And it won't come back anymore.

SING

Hey people. It's been months since I've updated anything in this good-for-nothing blog. *sigh* I really don't know what to write so I will just do whatever.
Currently I'm listening to SING by My Chemical Romance and even though I like the original artist, I like the Glee Project version better.

So you do know what this song means right? It means you have to just go for it, for everything, for your sake, for her sake, for his sake, for their sake, for everyone's sake :D


Also I am currently in love with Mindy Gledhill's Anchor. I love her songs and lyrics, they're very indie, full of meaning, fluffy and very adorable. It simply tells the story of a girl in love with a boy who loves her just for who she is :)
Here are the lyrics:

When all the world is spinning round
Like a red balloon way up in the clouds
And my feet will not stay on the ground
You anchor me back down

I am nearly world renowned
As a restless soul who always skips town
But I look for you to come around
And anchor me back down

There are those who think that I'm strange
They would box me up and tell me to change
But you hold me close and softly say
That you wouldn't have me any other way

When people pin me as a clown
You behave as though I'm wearing a crown
When I'm lost I feel so very found
When you anchor me back down

When all the world is spinning round
Like a red balloon way up in the clouds
And my feet will not stay on the ground
You anchor me back down



So adorable, don't you agree? Complete with her soft voice and the lilting piano and music, it is beautiful. :)

Yes, so dreamy.
Speaking of dreamy, I get more dreamier nowadays. Too much imagining, too much daydreaming and sometimes people would find me staring off into the distance, my mind elsewhere and everywhere.
A little bit pathetic I admit but I cannot help it. I need someone to anchor me back down like how Mindy did!
Hahahaha. I guess my secret isn't a secret anymore since quite a handful know -_-
But that doesn't mean I can tell you people, lol. Want a clue? ;)
Here you go:

Don't make sense? Well that is your problem :)

Last week of November = exams already. I'm going have to work extra hard for several reasons I should mention:

1. My scores are drastically falling. 

2. My parents are so not going to be pleased with it if it sucks which means less of everything.

3. I'm extremely disappointed at how I seem to be lacking both in concentration and intention when studying.

4. I am aiming to buy something if I get my desired scores :D with my own money!

Before exams though, there's something I am very much looking forward to. I have been leaning all hopes on this particular thing, and I'm not going to back down! I absolutely have to try if I am to achieve anything.

That aside, I really have to write more. My vocabulary is getting uglier by the second and I am reading lesser books than ever because of schoolwork. SUCKS BIG TIME I KNOW. WHAT KIND OF A BOOKWORM AM I, NOT READING AT LEAST ONE BOOK A WEEK? 

Anyway, I have to try harder now. I must. 

See you later :D

Randomosity

Honestly, I don't know what to post as Piceous' first ever post. You're probably wondering why I currently have two blogs of which the former did not get much attending to which resulted a very badly constructed and messy blog. Piceous, I hope, is different. 

Piceous, you say. What does it mean? you say.

Well, kind readers who took their time to read this friendly, harmless babble of a post, Piceous means pitch black. Another meaning is flammable.

So now you're probably:

Then why is the blog's layout not at all related to the name? you say. And why am I saying this out loud? you say.

I've been thinking, actually. And it will stay that way until otherwise. Oh, another question which might have lingered inside your head. D-Argh, alright, I won't force you to say it anymore. I'll say it myself: Why I chose this word to be this blog's name? 

...

That, my dear readers, is called randomosity.

Aha! Didn't expect it, did you?

OH.

You're probably shaking your head now, muttering to yourself how mentally deranged this person is.

Rats. 

No, I mean really.

Never mind.

Until next time.

Much love,

xoxo