bored lyk hell.

hey. i'm bored out of my mind out here. i'm in the airport, currently wanting to fly back to jogja. it's the after hols vibe, i hate feeling like this. the flight's delayed for about one and a half hour, fucking thing. none of my friends are replying back and i'm bored to death. 

tomorrow is school day. i mean i have to go to campus. it's softskill and i cri everytime. at least i get to see bilqis and the others tho. 

ok first thing i arrive, i'm gonna sign up for that fitness membership thingy I FUCKING SWEAR ON MY LIFE. Gosh why is it so hard to do? exercise wears out my muscles after but that pain feels awesome, i feel like i accomplished something. anyway, i'm also in desperate need of manicure and a pedicure. blergh. 

i miss home! i miss my car, my cats and my grandma. i miss her cooking. 

ah i keep looking at the clock damn. still about an hour to go fucking crazy mad right? 

i just wanna go home and curl up in my bed and then go to sleep. it's so cold here in the waiting room, my hands are frozen i can barely type. 

you know what's been bothering me a little rn is social media. i'm a socmed person yeah i'd admit it but i also dislike looking at people's business posted EVERY FUCKING WHERE. like, i know its your life and everything, but do you seriously feel the need to post everything? i'm judging real hard yeah. well if you decide to get out there and display your fabulous life, don't be a hypocrite back if someone decides to frontally confront you for these reasons. subhanallah please your life is your privacy, can't you at least give yourself a little respect? 

i want to delete path so much and yeah i did for a couple times but i always download it back because...I HAVE GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO. and then i download it back and open it and be disgusted at myself for being bored enough to do this :( like. Omg. oh wow okay your neighbours gave you food! thats nice to know. your husband gave you toys for your the kiddos! thats hmm ok nice. what and you want more? oh my what is that, a wishlist?? is that - your - oh u know what nevermind. i didnt know path was your personal diary, lol sorry. a personal diary that 200+++ people can read i mean!!!! 

i want to delete path!!!!! but without it i can't access to people's stuff :( because i'm cut out from the rest of the world that way and because i'm such an introvert. 

sigh bilqis is right. Indonesian people are so intensely focused on each other because they've got nothing better to do. it's the same monotonous pace and routine. she says its nice but yeah it can be, Once in a while. not every day. but what on earth can you do when youre an indonesian and all you're expected to do is study and work all the time. 

hm okay. i miss Al. he's out of the island for a week and well yeah i miss him. 

not gonna say anymore ;p

i spent 13 minutes writing this. Feels like an hour. fuckkkk can i just get home quickkk?? mum :"( 

feels like sunday.

i know today's tuesday but it feels like a monday.

it's been two weeks like this; having a four-day holiday may seem fun, but it feels like a long drag when you've got nothing to do.

on saturday, ina came over and we made cheese buns. the peetniss rave was running high that time, and anyway, who doesn't like cheese buns? and then, me and my family went out that night, planning to go to JCM and after a million lost turns, we finally made it. into the parking lot, that is. you cannot believe how shitty the line was. we literally spent half an hour just sitting out, listening to the shitty band playing out side, probably playing for us to sit out here in the cars like sitting ducks. the line finally moved and we just got in the parking lot. haha. and we spent another shitty twenty minutes before we decided to just exit the hell out of there. we ended up eating near my univ.

well, all in all, it was better than being at home?

on sunday, i went for a morning swim with my cousin. i know i'm supposed to be out in a hijab at all times but, Allah forgive me, i still cannot be bothered to do it when i'm out near and it's frustrating. also i don't have a long-sleeved swimsuit. wouldn't it be awfully degrading myself if i had put on the hijab but remove my clothes to display a rather revealing swimsuit? it wasn't a bikini, but still.
i made dinner that night; garlic cheddar chicken and mashed potatoes. the potatoes were lumpy, but then again, i didn't have a potato masher.

on monday, i stayed at home the whole day, and it felt tasteless like flour and water. that night, i watched silver linings, and i swear i could not love jennifer lawrence even more. honestly, the inspring women in my life, other than my mother and my grandmother, are sara bareilles and jennifer lawrence. i have a girl crush on them, seriously.

today? feels like sunday. watched if i stay. and can i say it was an absolute awful movie? like, i know it was a book adaptation, and usually book adaptations are awful, but this was just complete trash. sure, tell everyone that my tears were falling endlessly when i found out her brother died, along with her parents and...honestly, if i were her, i wouldn't stay. just... there's something wrong with living when most of your family are dead, okay? just... Masya'Allah.
i re-read a thousand splendid suns. still an amazing work, by far. i love his works. i wished i have a physical copy of kite runner and and the mountains echoed. i never cared about politics, but the Talibans were ruthless.

also, while browsing on tumblr today, i came across Mike Brown. i never read the news, i'm sorry to say, and this...wow. this. what is the world coming to? divided by the colour of our skin. since when did colours of skin hurt anybody? why are the cops shitty? who decided that black people were harmful and scary and should be avoided at all times? why did they release darren? why are the cops shitty? when white people do crimes, they are forgiven because they are insane; but when black people put their hands up, they are shot 6 times? why are cops shitty? 

anyway, i just finished a thousand splendid suns. so. fucking. sad.
i'm sorry. i cussed. but, still. :(

i will say goodbye for now; my stomach's a little queasy. i'd be reading a few peetniss fics, and then off to bed. tomorrow's a long day. good night.

55 Reading Question Tags

Adapted from Tumblr and Nicole's blog! Check hers out here: ixbooks.blogspot.com

1. Favorite childhood book? 
I can't decide. But I do love Enid Blyton's books. I remember I used to pronounce her name as Grid Blyton because of the swirly handwriting on the cover of each of her books-_-
2. What are you reading right now? 
Lord of the Rings.
3. What books do you have on request at the library?
We don't have a local english library. And don't get me started on my school library's choice of YA novels.
4. Bad book habit?
I tend to want to sleep while reading. A very bad habit.
5. What do you currently have checked out at the library?
-
6. Do you have an e-reader?
Yes, on my iPod but I don't really use it since I prefer real books....well currently anyways.
7. Do you prefer to read one book at a time, or several at once?
ONE BOOK AT A TIME. But I can't seem to do that when the book is on a boring stage whereupon the author just heaps a lot of dull information and expects me to read it. Seriously? No.
8. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog?
I don't know. To be honest, I think they changed once I've started high school. 
9. Least favourite book you read this year (so far)?
Hmm. I believe I haven't yet. 
10. Favorite book you’ve read this year?
Since it's just 2013, I'll refer to last year's. And that would be The Things That Keep Us Here! I've read it five times and ain't gonna get bored of it.
11. How often do you read out of your comfort zone?
If you asked me this a few years ago, I would have said very rarely, but I realized I just had to keep my mind open to everything, so the answer to this is very often.
12. What is your reading comfort zone?
Basically, anything except books that contain too much sexual infringement. I said too much, because nowadays...YA books do contain them; they probably can't avoid it. Annoys me sometimes.
13. Can you read on the bus?
Aha. Sometimes. Especially when I'm trying to distract myself.
14. Favorite place to read?
On the sofa! In front of the tv. With a cup of tea. Or cocoa. Whatever comes to mind. 
15. What is your policy on book lending?
First of all, do not crease the spine. It is strictly off-limits. And absolutely no dog-earring them. I think my friends know this policy since they have witnessed me screaming when they tried to bend the book forcefully to see my reaction. Not cool bro.
16. Do you ever dog-ear books?
Ocassionally. Just kidding. NEVER. NOT EVER AND NEVER WILL I.
17. Do you ever write in the margins of your books?
No!
18. Not even with text books?
Text books are an exception. Haha. Hear that didcha teachers? IN YOUR FACE! Pfftt
19. What is your favourite language to read in?
English!
20. What makes you love a book?
Pretty much everything. The smell of a new book, the crisp white or brown or discoloured pages of the book, the feeling of seeing words upon words on a fresh sheet of paper and thinking that I would live another person's life, today. Also, hugging a book helps calm me down....just...ssssh, okay?
21. What will inspire you to recommend a book?
When the plot haunts me through the whole week. And I mean good haunting.
22. Favorite genre?
A few years ago and I would say fantasy, but now I'd say fantasy, YA, apocalyptic, romance but not that much and definitely classics.
23. Genre you rarely read (but wish you did)?
Hmm, none.
24. Favourite biography?
Have never read one before..
25. Have you ever read a self-help book?
Yes! And it helped. Really did.
26. Favourite cookbook?
Don't have one, unfortunately.
27. Most inspirational book you’ve read this year (fiction or non-fiction)?
A Thousand Splendid Suns.
28. Favorite reading snack?
Honestly, I'd settle for anything light and sweet. 
29. Name a case in which hype ruined your reading experience.
None...?
30. How often do you agree with critics about a book?
-
31. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews?
I speak my mind. So there. 
32. If you could read in a foreign language, which language would you chose?
French...or Spanish. I tried reading one in French, but I barely got past the first sentence.
33. Most intimidating book you’ve ever read?
-
34. Most intimidating book you’re too nervous to begin?
Hmm...
35. Favorite Poet?
Hahah. I don't usually read poems, I write them.
36. How many books do you usually have checked out of the library at any given time?
-
37. How often have you returned books to the library unread?
-
38. Favorite fictional character? 
UGH. Definitely Hermione. BUT I LOVE EVERYONE ELSE. BUT HERMIONE....SHE'S SO INSPIRING.
39. Favourite fictional villain?
None so far...
40. Books I’m most likely to bring on vacation?
Books about vacation, most obviously, to get me into that vacation-mode faster!
41. The longest I’ve gone without reading.
Reading books? Probably three months. I KNOW RIGHT? IT TOTALLY BROKE ME.
42. Name a book that you could/would not finish.
Too many books that have left me despairingly clutching to the pages.
43. What distracts you easily when you’re reading?
Movement, loud noises. Especially if when I'm thinking about the fact that I'm reading. It distracts me easily.
44. Favorite film adaptation of a novel?
Perks of Being a Wallflower.
45. Most disappointing film adaptation?
Eragon. I can't believe it. 
46. The most money I’ve ever spent in the bookstore at one time?
Maybe RP. 500.000. My parents went berserk. 
47. How often do you skim a book before reading it?
Never .___. It will spoil everything!
48. What would cause you to stop reading a book half-way through?
When the words are too fancy to be understood... *looks at Les Miz*
49. Do you like to keep your books organized?
Depends on my mood... But I like to keep my books safe in my bookshelf...
50. Do you prefer to keep books or give them away once you’ve read them?
So far, I have never given away any books, whether I like them or not. They stay with me. Forever. Reminds me, when I grow old and have a house of my own, I'll have a library everywhere. In the bedroom, the dining room, the kitchen, the study room, the laundry room, the living room, even the bathrooms. Yeah.
51. Are there any books you’ve been avoiding?
Avoiding? Maybe 50 Shades of Gray. I really don't get why people like it. It's so full of....sexual infringement *shudders*
52. Name a book that made you angry.
-
53. A book you didn’t expect to like but did?
Lord of The Rings. 
54. A book that you expected to like but didn’t?
The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight. Cuz it just...doesn't...happen...... 
55. Favorite guilt-free, pleasure reading?
Piece of life. 

The Regular Shake of Pepper, Salt and a Little Sugar

So, hey people and bloggers! It's been four months since I've written anything. It's not just I had not the time, but I have simply got other things to do...

Hmm so to start, maybe a little overview of my life so far?

It's been...tasteless maybe. If life was a pot of soup boiling over, it would be. I have not received any hot significant spices, just the regular shake of pepper, salt and a little sugar now and then. But not significant enough to be mentioned...they're sometimes a little too subtle to be noticed.

So boring right?

As for school, I have finally gotten some motivation to work and study harder to achieve my desired major. I need to nail this. I NEED TO DO THIS.

Internship got me all thinking, and after the interview with the doctors, I realized I have only one year to make this right, to do this right. And I have no intention to withdraw. I will go through snow and wind and ice and rain and fire and stones and swords! HELL YESSSSS.

Speaking of that, I only have one year and a few months left before leaving for university! So much time has passed...since I was that small, a little woe-begone, timid person I left a long while ago. I don't know if i have improved, but I have certainly changed. I wish to change to a better person, even if it means leaving my comfort area.

Yes well it's never easy.

By the way, I have started to read Lord of the Rings. Maybe my passion for Adventure Time (of which I'd like to say thank you to Alay for getting me into it) had caused me to do this. I have never watched or read it before. LoTR, I mean. Ridiculous isn't it? A bookworm's not a bookworm if they haven't read it before. At least that's what I tell myself. I found a copy in Kino last week, and it's really heavy cuz it's three-in-one book. The cover keeps bending and the spine is curving outwards...badly. I feel like crying (nah, but you know what I mean) because I can't seem to hurt it while I'm reading it. Hurting books are bad. Really bad.

BAD.

I MEAN IT.

Tootles!

Dear Oh Dear

Hey people! See the long interval between this post and the previous? That's because of the exams! Yes I've finally finished the Final Exams!! Well, the written ones anyway. Ahh but I'd prefer the practical exams any day.

Anyway, know that feeling of freedom you get after getting through obstacles like this? Yes, well that is what I'm feeling right now.

Some of the scores are out already, and I'm not happy with my Physics. I've underestimated, overestimated, same-estimated, expected...still the same average score. GAAH. But! At least I can be satisfied with my Biology. *throws confetti*

SOOO. What's been going on with my life?? Truth be told, I am so awfully glad I have friends I can count on and trust. They make school bearable and life a playful story we have to get by together. One day, perhaps, before I graduate from high school, I'd like to write little snippets of poem for some of them, one too for my whole grade and a long special one for my class :D After all we'll be together for another year right-_-

Yes. That'd be a great idea. :)

OH. I have just received an adorable notebook from my English teacher :) Isn't she a dear! I love it :3

I'm going to spend all my freedom tickets for the weekends tomorrow. I've got to let it go~

Speaking of it, I think I had better move chairs. I'm going to have to stand again and wait while the traffic lights turn red once again... Wait for the green. I don't think this is going to work. You know, this whole waiting thing. UGH. I hate it when I feel so down and when there's nothing I can do about it. There's nothing anyone can do about it. Even when they ask me, I know they have better things to do than asking me what is wrong. BLERGH. See what I did there? GOD.
Don't mind me please. I'm having a PMS and I get the feeling to get mad at every little thing, and sometimes so sad for myself I feel like murdering someone.

*sigh* Oh God. Lead me the right way and don't ever leave me astray. O:)

Pssh. I'm always the pessimist type of person. My best friends keep telling me that I need to stop being a pessimist, and BELIEVE ME, I TRIED. I really did. But I can't. Anyway, I think I nearly always think of negative things because I'm tired of feeling disappointed when things don't go as I expect them to be. While, let's say, if you are a pessimist, and things do go as you SECRETLY expect, your heart does that little purr of happiness and does a tra-la-la dance. Well, that's what mine did anyway. And that is why I am a pessimist nearly all the time. Oh, don't get me wrong. I am frequently thankful of all the things Allah gives me, but well, this is me, and I can't change it if I don't want to.

But dear oh dear.

Dear oh dear indeed.